How long will I continue to give-up little earthly pleasures? How far will it get me through? How grand the risks I’m willing to take?

Is there benefit in which I might indulge after? Or is it those guilty pleasure I got every time I vow that it would be the last.

Let not be viewed as torture, but rather a form of retreat where I disconnect myself with this reality I became used to.

A soulless physicality of the human body. I need to give up something again.

Please explain to me why I live in this part of the world when I want to live on the other side? WHY?!

Just had my heart shattered into million pieces. Why everything is happening? I don’t know how long can I tolerate all the hurt and pain. Slowly killing, stabbing me again and again. I don’t have explanations, I don’t have reasons. How long will I be able to hold on. How long will I be strong.

It has been…

I miss you,

and the conversations we had,

I miss teasing you,

and how you respond.

I miss your silly drawings

and me as your scratch pad

I miss being there

and those late night crammings

I miss walking with you

and those clumsy acts of mine.

I just miss you although now there’s no you.

thoughts on things going around. I can’t seem to filter my emotions on how to deal with people.